Warning: the content of these essays may cause side stitches and after thought.

You say you want a resolution….

Dateline: Washington, DC. January 1, 2018 New Year’s resolutions were officially banned across the United States today. In a rare display of bi-partisan unity, both houses of Congress agreed that all declarations made before the first of the year were meaningless, as well as those made in a hung over...
Read More

Mimi’s Night at the Opera

O Mimì, tu più non torni—”O Mimì, will you not return?” “La Bohème” Act lV One would imagine that with a name like Mimi I would be destined to become an opera lover. Not so. It took 57 years, six months and 4 days before I even attended my first...
Read More

Reunion Reboot

Dear Class of ’77 Reunion Committee, Thank you for your kind invitation to attend the upcoming Vestal High School fortieth reunion. Although I must regretfully decline, please allow me to explain my well considered reasons. As fate would have it, I was only made aware of the festivities earlier this...
Read More

A Beguiling Balance

We used to be so close. Every morning, I would greet you with a smile, anticipating your reaction. More often than not, you returned my enthusiasm with a glowing response, which would set the tone for for my day. I’d blow you a kiss as I headed toward my first...
Read More

Santa Writes Back

Dear Mimi, So good to hear from you again. It certainly has been a while and I must say it’s not often that we receive letters from shall we say ‘older’ children like yourself. As we head down to the wire, I thought it best to reach out to you...
Read More

‘Tis the Week Post Election

‘Tis the week post election, and if I had my way Yours truly, yes Mimi, would be president today My first job in office would be a clean sweep Of mean people, bullies and basically creeps I’d hire only those whose agenda was pure A smattering of millennials, a few...
Read More